All healthy heterosexual men look at beautiful women. I think everyone knows this fact, but perhaps I’m a tad bit different because I admit that I do it. Frequently. Every chance I get as a matter of fact.
I have noticed, in my looking, that my tastes have changed through the years, aged as I have aged.
Some men are forever attracted to the very young. The 18 to 21 year old hottie.
I am not. I notice that when I see such a ‘hottie’ in person, they look way too young to me. Not hot, not sexy, just young.
This is very disconcerting on occasion when it comes to erotica. Intellectually I know that the woman in question must be over eighteen years, but she looks like a child to me. I must confess that I don’t see the attraction men my age (late thirty’s) have for these very young women, as the women who are now so very sexy to me are indeed closer to my own age.
I wonder if some men get stuck somehow. If their erotic imaginations don’t become stuck at a certain age, and remain there for the rest of their lives. I wonder if an extreme form of this ‘fantasies getting stuck’ phenomenon isn’t one of the reasons for the horrible crime of child molestation.
All I do know for sure is that I am not stuck. Give me thirty plus years any day!
I must say that I think my finding of more mature women as the most sexy of women has a very practical benefit as well. Practice does indeed make perfect, in the bedroom as in everywhere else. That eighteen year old hottie most men seem to lust after just hasn’t had enough practice!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Perspective
Mrs. CM and I are not suffering during these tough economic times. In fact we are looking upon them as a tremendous opportunity to build long-term wealth. This is partly because our little area of the country has not been hard hit by the economic downturn, but also because we have given up many things in life to not become overextended as so many others have. We look in horror at the negative five percent savings rate in our country, and find security in our positive net worth. We also firmly believe that when people blame the government for their economic woes it is nothing but a refusal to take responsibility for their own personal actions. If you are in dire economic straights right now, it is very likely because you made poor financial and employment decisions. It is not the fault of GW Bush, or the United States Congress, although we too hold deep dissatisfaction with the performance of both. We have, in the past, been extremely poor. That was our fault, no one else’s.
I do recognize that financial security can be stripped from anyone at any time. Sometimes through absolutely no fault of the individual who looses it. We can loose our money, our homes, our possessions, our wealth, and the security that these things bring.
If the meaning of an entire life is based upon these material things, then it is all too easy to loose ones life. If ones life meaning is based upon any given thing outside of oneself, then it is all to easy to loose ones life. Holding as the most important part of life material possessions, anything outside of oneself, or anyone outside of oneself is a fundamental error of perspective. None of these things can be a major part of the meaning of our individual lives, so a rational perspective could never allow them to occupy the most important places within our lives.
We must, I think, if we want to survive and thrive in tough times find the meaning of our lives in things that we can control. In things that cannot be taken away from us by anyone, for any reason.
Thoughts and words do that for me. No matter what ever befalls me, I will always have the ability and occasion to read, and not just to read, but to read the very finest humankind has to offer. I can also never loose the ability and occasion to write. To drive myself to write in the very best way I know how. I can always, under any circumstances find meaning in thoughts and words, my own, and those of others. This is comforting to me.
I will admit that I do suffer from the same material desires as everyone else, perhaps even more so. I simply don’t give into those desires unless and until I can actually be reasonably assured of affording them long term. My wristwatch is probably the very best example of this. I spent a bit more than the first 30 years of my life absolutely refusing to wear a wristwatch. I refused to wear a wristwatch unless and until I could wear a Rolex wristwatch. Things worked out well for me, and I type this wearing my Rolex Oyster Datejust with gold and diamond accents. It does not though give my life meaning, my life would not be worse if I were forced to give up the watch for whatever reason. To feel that my life would be worse if I did not possess this fine watch would be to have a badly distorted perspective of life, and what is important within it.
I can though always possess the very finest words of man. Shakespeare, Hemmingway, Nin, Churchill. No one can take these away from me. Except perhaps senility, and may either God or man grant me a death with dignity before that occasion ever rears it’s terrifying head.
I do recognize that financial security can be stripped from anyone at any time. Sometimes through absolutely no fault of the individual who looses it. We can loose our money, our homes, our possessions, our wealth, and the security that these things bring.
If the meaning of an entire life is based upon these material things, then it is all too easy to loose ones life. If ones life meaning is based upon any given thing outside of oneself, then it is all to easy to loose ones life. Holding as the most important part of life material possessions, anything outside of oneself, or anyone outside of oneself is a fundamental error of perspective. None of these things can be a major part of the meaning of our individual lives, so a rational perspective could never allow them to occupy the most important places within our lives.
We must, I think, if we want to survive and thrive in tough times find the meaning of our lives in things that we can control. In things that cannot be taken away from us by anyone, for any reason.
Thoughts and words do that for me. No matter what ever befalls me, I will always have the ability and occasion to read, and not just to read, but to read the very finest humankind has to offer. I can also never loose the ability and occasion to write. To drive myself to write in the very best way I know how. I can always, under any circumstances find meaning in thoughts and words, my own, and those of others. This is comforting to me.
I will admit that I do suffer from the same material desires as everyone else, perhaps even more so. I simply don’t give into those desires unless and until I can actually be reasonably assured of affording them long term. My wristwatch is probably the very best example of this. I spent a bit more than the first 30 years of my life absolutely refusing to wear a wristwatch. I refused to wear a wristwatch unless and until I could wear a Rolex wristwatch. Things worked out well for me, and I type this wearing my Rolex Oyster Datejust with gold and diamond accents. It does not though give my life meaning, my life would not be worse if I were forced to give up the watch for whatever reason. To feel that my life would be worse if I did not possess this fine watch would be to have a badly distorted perspective of life, and what is important within it.
I can though always possess the very finest words of man. Shakespeare, Hemmingway, Nin, Churchill. No one can take these away from me. Except perhaps senility, and may either God or man grant me a death with dignity before that occasion ever rears it’s terrifying head.
Halloween
A holiday of joy for so many. Can we adequately remember the pleasure we found as children in this holiday? Pleasure in our costumes, pleasure at being surrounded by candy treats. Can we imagine the pleasure cross-dressers feel on this day? Pleasure in the one day in which society does not frown upon them dressing as their desires compel them too.
Candy for the kids, cracking open of the closet for some pervy folks. A tremendous holiday for many.
Alas, I am neither a kid nor a cross-dresser. I also live in a strikingly rural place, so will have no Trick or Treaters stopping by this evening. The holiday for me then will not be a night of revelry, but it does afford me a very interesting opportunity to think and reflect upon life, upon my life.
I am not normal. I do not lead a normal life. I am not surrounded by normal people.
This is good, for I do not approve of normal.
Normal is working at a job one hates. Normal is spending more than one can afford. Normal is a marriage filled with conflict. Normal is visiting family one just doesn’t enjoy. Normal is stress and busywork.
I must believe that life is supposed to be exciting, an adventure, full of joy. I must believe that our lives need to make a positive difference to the world in which we live. For these reasons I am not normal, I choose to be something different from normal.
I write, and I love to write. My job is interesting, and important to society as a whole. I live in a very small, but very desirable home, one that is easily affordable due to its size, yet much coveted due to its feel. My family is fun for those who are included in it add value to my life, relatives who do not are not seen out of any twisted view of obligation. My family is not limited to relatives, but includes wonderful intimate friends. I avoid unnecessary stress. I prefer hedonism to busy work and pursue/avoid according to those preferences.
Mrs. CM shares my divergence from what is normal, and perhaps our lack of the normal is most visible in our marriage. Our marriage is long standing, 19 years now, and we love each other very much. In fact, we do not honestly know of another marriage that is happier. That said, our marriage is quite far from normal.
We both enjoy radical sex, and we both pursue sex that ranges far beyond what we call plain vanilla. Neither of us believes in monogamy, and we both pursue love and intimacy with others, wonderful people who have become a part of our chosen family. We are together because we choose to be together. Not because being together is the easiest or only option available to us. Our individual lives, and our shared life together are immeasurably richer due to this fact.
On the outside we look normal. We look like good conservative Republicans. That’s likely because we are good conservative Republicans, with a Libertarian bent of course. We are though quite far from normal, and thrilled with the fact that we don’t allow ourselves to be normal.
On this night of dress up, of nightmare and fantasy, I must wonder.
On this night when everyone normal pursues fantasy, should we gleefully pursue normalcy, for to us normalcy is the fantasy?
Candy for the kids, cracking open of the closet for some pervy folks. A tremendous holiday for many.
Alas, I am neither a kid nor a cross-dresser. I also live in a strikingly rural place, so will have no Trick or Treaters stopping by this evening. The holiday for me then will not be a night of revelry, but it does afford me a very interesting opportunity to think and reflect upon life, upon my life.
I am not normal. I do not lead a normal life. I am not surrounded by normal people.
This is good, for I do not approve of normal.
Normal is working at a job one hates. Normal is spending more than one can afford. Normal is a marriage filled with conflict. Normal is visiting family one just doesn’t enjoy. Normal is stress and busywork.
I must believe that life is supposed to be exciting, an adventure, full of joy. I must believe that our lives need to make a positive difference to the world in which we live. For these reasons I am not normal, I choose to be something different from normal.
I write, and I love to write. My job is interesting, and important to society as a whole. I live in a very small, but very desirable home, one that is easily affordable due to its size, yet much coveted due to its feel. My family is fun for those who are included in it add value to my life, relatives who do not are not seen out of any twisted view of obligation. My family is not limited to relatives, but includes wonderful intimate friends. I avoid unnecessary stress. I prefer hedonism to busy work and pursue/avoid according to those preferences.
Mrs. CM shares my divergence from what is normal, and perhaps our lack of the normal is most visible in our marriage. Our marriage is long standing, 19 years now, and we love each other very much. In fact, we do not honestly know of another marriage that is happier. That said, our marriage is quite far from normal.
We both enjoy radical sex, and we both pursue sex that ranges far beyond what we call plain vanilla. Neither of us believes in monogamy, and we both pursue love and intimacy with others, wonderful people who have become a part of our chosen family. We are together because we choose to be together. Not because being together is the easiest or only option available to us. Our individual lives, and our shared life together are immeasurably richer due to this fact.
On the outside we look normal. We look like good conservative Republicans. That’s likely because we are good conservative Republicans, with a Libertarian bent of course. We are though quite far from normal, and thrilled with the fact that we don’t allow ourselves to be normal.
On this night of dress up, of nightmare and fantasy, I must wonder.
On this night when everyone normal pursues fantasy, should we gleefully pursue normalcy, for to us normalcy is the fantasy?
Black, Orange, and Brown
The colors of Halloween, and the colors of my blog today. Enjoy, for change is good, and life is meant to be interesting.
Discernment
I work with a large number of fundamentalist Christians. In fact, I believe that my workplace is rather unique because I think that it is populated by a much higher percentage of fundamentalists than is society at large.
Most closely I work with people who call themselves charismatic Christians. I must confess that I have no understanding of the differences between fundamentalists and charismatics, the beliefs, the leaders, and the heroes seem to be the same, and I must confess that I’m just not interested enough to try and learn what the differences might be. I do suspect though that the main difference might be a desire to escape the negative connotations associated with the term “fundamentalist Christian.”
What I have noticed about these particular folks I work with, and indeed the point of this post, is a shocking lack of discernment.
They understand that in our world there is good and bad, black and white, even grey. They understand that people can be good or evil, be good but do an evil thing, or be evil and do a good thing. They understand that most people live between these extremes.
There does not seem to be any serious breakdown in their ability to reason, to understand people, or the world around us.
They do however suffer a very serious breakdown in these abilities when the focus of discussion is someone who calls him or herself a Christian.
They have a knee jerk reaction towards wanting to help the child rapist who calls himself a Christian. A need to help the defrauder who calls herself a Christian.
They accept such people at their word. They believe that such people are Christian based upon professed belief instead of observed actions.
The child rapist is not a Christian, he is evil. He has declared himself a Christian while in prison because doing so results in certain privileges for himself. The fraud is not a Christian, she has declared herself such because by doing so her tricks on the unsuspecting are less easily discovered. Those fundamentalist Christians I work with seem utterly unable to understand this.
Their lack of discernment, their immediate desire to have faith in anyone who professes a strong and fundamentalist Christian faith is disturbing. Luckily it is not the only influence upon those with whom I work, so it does not affect the work we do, rationality always prevails after the initial reaction fades.
I am not a man of faith, but I am rational enough to understand that Christian faith without Christian works is dead. That being a Christian must be defined not only by ones professions of faith, but also by ones actions for the good as inspired by that faith.
Most closely I work with people who call themselves charismatic Christians. I must confess that I have no understanding of the differences between fundamentalists and charismatics, the beliefs, the leaders, and the heroes seem to be the same, and I must confess that I’m just not interested enough to try and learn what the differences might be. I do suspect though that the main difference might be a desire to escape the negative connotations associated with the term “fundamentalist Christian.”
What I have noticed about these particular folks I work with, and indeed the point of this post, is a shocking lack of discernment.
They understand that in our world there is good and bad, black and white, even grey. They understand that people can be good or evil, be good but do an evil thing, or be evil and do a good thing. They understand that most people live between these extremes.
There does not seem to be any serious breakdown in their ability to reason, to understand people, or the world around us.
They do however suffer a very serious breakdown in these abilities when the focus of discussion is someone who calls him or herself a Christian.
They have a knee jerk reaction towards wanting to help the child rapist who calls himself a Christian. A need to help the defrauder who calls herself a Christian.
They accept such people at their word. They believe that such people are Christian based upon professed belief instead of observed actions.
The child rapist is not a Christian, he is evil. He has declared himself a Christian while in prison because doing so results in certain privileges for himself. The fraud is not a Christian, she has declared herself such because by doing so her tricks on the unsuspecting are less easily discovered. Those fundamentalist Christians I work with seem utterly unable to understand this.
Their lack of discernment, their immediate desire to have faith in anyone who professes a strong and fundamentalist Christian faith is disturbing. Luckily it is not the only influence upon those with whom I work, so it does not affect the work we do, rationality always prevails after the initial reaction fades.
I am not a man of faith, but I am rational enough to understand that Christian faith without Christian works is dead. That being a Christian must be defined not only by ones professions of faith, but also by ones actions for the good as inspired by that faith.
Anais Nin In Google Blogsearch
Searching blogs using the term 'Anais Nin' delivered me two gems this fine morning.
Delta De Venus a blog containing a small amount of fine art erotic photography. Unfortunately the blog has not been updated for a very long time, but the old postings are well worth a visit.
Dusting Off Anais Nin a post by Adriana Palanca communicating her changing view of Ms. Nin, her learning to see the woman, not simply the role model.
Delta De Venus a blog containing a small amount of fine art erotic photography. Unfortunately the blog has not been updated for a very long time, but the old postings are well worth a visit.
Dusting Off Anais Nin a post by Adriana Palanca communicating her changing view of Ms. Nin, her learning to see the woman, not simply the role model.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tools
Anais Nin wrote a truly remarkable diary over the course of her life, a work that will likely go down in history as one of the great literary feats of our time. She was forced to write the work with pen, paper, a large and heavy typewriter. She was forced to store the work in boxes, iron strongboxes for it's protection. As I understand it, to this day the diary in it's entirety can not be published because the sheer volume of the work makes doing so a financial impracticality.
Today we have amazing tools at our disposal.
I am able to write this post on a small and portable machine that not only accepts the keystrokes I input into it, but which also serves as the largest research library ever known to man.
I am able to publish these words instantly, without any financial cost to myself.
I am able to do these things from virtually anywhere. From my office, from the road, from my bed. Without wires, without artificial restriction.
When Ms. Nin's soul commanded her to create that creation was made immeasurably more difficult due to the lack of tools she had available to her. Today, when our souls command us to create, our tools make it possible to do so without a second thought as to the how.
Today we have amazing tools at our disposal.
I am able to write this post on a small and portable machine that not only accepts the keystrokes I input into it, but which also serves as the largest research library ever known to man.
I am able to publish these words instantly, without any financial cost to myself.
I am able to do these things from virtually anywhere. From my office, from the road, from my bed. Without wires, without artificial restriction.
When Ms. Nin's soul commanded her to create that creation was made immeasurably more difficult due to the lack of tools she had available to her. Today, when our souls command us to create, our tools make it possible to do so without a second thought as to the how.
Narcissism
Is not all writing a narcissistic endeavor? All writers narcissists?
Writing I think, is and must be that way. The very best writing being that most narcissistically driven.
Writing I think, is and must be that way. The very best writing being that most narcissistically driven.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Link To Sex-Worker Radio?
Sex-workers are denigrated by society. This is a grave mistake.
Sex-workers bring joy where none existed, fulfill fantasy that could otherwise remain only longing.
Living outside of convention they help create the culture of tomorrow by becoming ever more vocal today.
Sex-workers bring joy where none existed, fulfill fantasy that could otherwise remain only longing.
Living outside of convention they help create the culture of tomorrow by becoming ever more vocal today.
XXBN Radio
"XXBN is a collection of progressive, subversive, sex positive, indie talk shows produced by sex workers past and present."
This evening I greatly enjoyed reading the XXBN post: The Art (Of Writing) For Art's Sake by Gracie Passette.
This evening I greatly enjoyed reading the XXBN post: The Art (Of Writing) For Art's Sake by Gracie Passette.
Fiction or Non?
What will you find here? Reality or fantasy, real world or dream world?
Does it matter?
I cannot tell you if you will find fiction here, nonfiction here, or a blend of the two, for quite honestly, ‘here’ is not yet written.
You will find art here. Words are my art and I can promise that they will be in abundance here.
You will find truth here. My truth will be written, no matter if the form happens to be fantasy or reality.
Does it matter?
I cannot tell you if you will find fiction here, nonfiction here, or a blend of the two, for quite honestly, ‘here’ is not yet written.
You will find art here. Words are my art and I can promise that they will be in abundance here.
You will find truth here. My truth will be written, no matter if the form happens to be fantasy or reality.
About Me
I suppose that this post is the place to brag. I hold an important job, have held and hold impressive titles. I’ve been given, and grown used to exercising, a measure of authority, moral and otherwise.
None of that is important here though.
What is important here is that I am a writer. Some say an extremely good writer.
I’ve written for a long time now, successfully so.
For others.
I’ve not written for myself. Looked within myself and written my own truth, my own meaning. I hope to do so here, I plan on doing so here. I hope that you will continue to join me on this journey of inner exploration, as I believe that both of us, the writer and the reader can have fun, can find joy and perhaps meaning here.
I am a writer. Perhaps that is the most important thing I am.
None of that is important here though.
What is important here is that I am a writer. Some say an extremely good writer.
I’ve written for a long time now, successfully so.
For others.
I’ve not written for myself. Looked within myself and written my own truth, my own meaning. I hope to do so here, I plan on doing so here. I hope that you will continue to join me on this journey of inner exploration, as I believe that both of us, the writer and the reader can have fun, can find joy and perhaps meaning here.
I am a writer. Perhaps that is the most important thing I am.
Why Blogger?
I have used various blogging platforms and have extensive experience with Movable Type. I choose to use Blogger for this project because I hope that my words are the standout focus of this site, not the web design.
Blogger is fast, continually upgraded, easy to use, extremely popular, and rather fun.
It is I think perfect for this project, a project that does not seek to impress with catchy URL’s or sublime design. Here, may prose be king.
Blogger is fast, continually upgraded, easy to use, extremely popular, and rather fun.
It is I think perfect for this project, a project that does not seek to impress with catchy URL’s or sublime design. Here, may prose be king.
Created With
Apple MacBook Pro
Microsoft Word
Apple Wireless Networking
Wildblue Satellite Internet Service
Blogger
Microsoft Word
Apple Wireless Networking
Wildblue Satellite Internet Service
Blogger
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